The older I get, the more I realize that I'm a huge hypocrite. As a mom, I am trying to teach my kids good values. Sharing, being social, making new friends, helping people, using your manners. But the older I get and the more adult I become, I think I'm losing some of these virtues every year.
Sharing: As a working adult, I am constantly encouraged to watch my back (CYA - Cover your A$$) and not share thoughts, or ideas because people are prone to stealing and make money off of you.
Being social: We get our hand slapped for this one if we socialize tooo much. We are drones and we need to work all day every day and not do anything else. Our socialization skills die every time we use things that are supposed to make us more efficient (texting, email, fb). I don't think I am as social as I used to be because you only get to know someone based on their one line. You don't get to know the actual person unless you want to just interview everybody. That would take too long.
Making new Friends: Besides the friends I've had since I was in high school, I don't really have alot of new friends, nor do I see myself making any new ones any time soon. The media just seems to have scared us all into a frenzy where we can't make new friends unless were somehow "matched" on 23 different levels and even then we need insurance. Our society is hinged on looking before you leap so much that we don't even leave the house anymore. It's like hermets are the coolest thing now. When did this happen?
Helping people: Remember when that man passed away waiting in the ER waiting area or when a passenger passed away on the septa bus. That show "What would you do?" has really exposed all our fears as human beings and put us on blast on how we treat other human beings. We don't help anyone anymore unless we know their social security number. We are so scared to speak up/touch another person that it is ridiculous. Me myself, I am not a hugger but I know I used to be. I was sooo caring all those years ago. What happenend to my empathy. Did it wither away with every passing relationship that failed?
Manners: People are sooo surprised to hear my kids when they say May I, Please and Thank you. It's like a shock to their system like Where have I heard those words before. Oh that's right, PRE-K! Its a shame but people just aren't as respectful as they used to be. Whatever happened to not using bad language infront of elders, or men giving up their seat on the bus to old ladies. Did "I don't give a f*ck" become everyone's slogan and I just blinked and missed that day?
As I explore myself and what it means to be me I need to figure these things out. I know at one point I had alot of empathy for people, but through "evolution" I became this very guarded, quiet, complacent person who only helps who she knows and only friends people when she is "matched" to them. Between the crabs in a barrell (negative) people, and the cut throat; look out for yourself; I got mine,you get yours people I don't know which way to turn. If you expose yourself too much, you leave the door open for these people to come into your life and sabatoge your way. If you shut the door too much, you potentially lose out on alot of great opportunities/people that will make your life better.
As I am still evolving, I hope to learn some of the virtues that I am passing along to my children, but I still wonder, when did I drop these things in the first place and what did I replace them with.
I wonder...........
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