How do you mend something that was broken

New Years always stirs up feelings of change and hope in us all. At this stage in the game, coping with change and learning to reflect and fix mistakes is crucial in our lives. At this point, with kids, a job, responsibilities and my age, I don't have time to make any more mistakes or fix things that were broken. The most I can hope to do is put a band aid on it, rub some medicine on it and limp the bad times off. I'm not one for making resolutions anymore, cause I don't want to dissapoint myself. I will, however, make goals and try to accomplish them with more gusto in the beginning of the year and die down towards the end.

1. I want to try to right some wrongs and practice being a more forgiving person. Forgiveness is lacking these days and most people don't practice it enough. We all have our faults and I can't be high and might thinking I don't make mistakes as well. 
2. I want to be more independent and less dependent on others. I know I'm 75% there, but I'm getting to the point where I don't like being an indentured servant to those that believe they are helping but are actually getting a quid pro quo out of the kindness of their hearts.  I don't feel like sugar coating it anymore and I'm actually becoming more in tune with my needs than with any body else/
3. Spread the love. Telling people how you feel today rather than waiting for the opportunity later. People don't get it later. If you are mad today, be mad, express yourself and let go. If you are happy, be happy express yourself and live on. People change like the wind and the most you can do is let it carry you and shield yourself from it. You make the choice and don't let it choose you.

As far as "resolutions" go, I think I've made my list as good as it gets. I'm still gonna be pushing forward and I hope to try many new and different things this year. I'll try to eat more veggies and do more exercising but with my impending full course load, I can see alot of late night snacks and all nighters in my future as well. 

Here's to hoping you all have a great year as well!

When did we lose our pre-school virtues?

The older I get, the more I realize that I'm a huge hypocrite. As a mom, I am trying to teach my kids good values. Sharing, being social, making new friends, helping people, using your manners. But the older I get and the more adult I become, I think I'm losing some of these virtues every year.
Sharing: As a working adult, I am constantly encouraged to watch my back (CYA - Cover your A$$) and not share thoughts, or ideas because people are prone to stealing and make money off of you.
Being social: We get our hand slapped for this one if we socialize tooo much. We are drones and we need to work all day every day and not do anything else. Our socialization skills die every time we use things that are supposed to make us more efficient (texting, email, fb). I don't think I am as social as I used to be because you only get to know someone based on their one line. You don't get to know the actual person unless you want to just interview everybody. That would take too long.
Making new Friends: Besides the friends I've had since I was in high school, I don't really have alot of new friends, nor do I see myself making any new ones any time soon. The media just seems to have scared us all into a frenzy where we can't make new friends unless were somehow "matched" on 23 different levels and even then we need insurance. Our society is hinged on looking before you leap so much that we don't even leave the house anymore. It's like hermets are the coolest thing now. When did this happen?
Helping people: Remember when that man passed away waiting in the ER waiting area or when a passenger passed away on the septa bus. That show "What would you do?" has really exposed all our fears as human beings and put us on blast on how we treat other human beings. We don't help anyone anymore unless we know their social security number. We are so scared to speak up/touch another person that it is ridiculous. Me myself, I am not a hugger but I know I used to be. I was sooo caring all those years ago. What happenend to my empathy. Did it wither away with every passing relationship that failed?
Manners: People are sooo surprised to hear my kids when they say May I, Please and Thank you. It's like a shock to their system like Where have I heard those words before. Oh that's right, PRE-K! Its a shame but people just aren't as respectful as they used to be. Whatever happened to not using bad language infront of elders, or men giving up their seat on the bus to old ladies. Did "I don't give a f*ck" become everyone's slogan and I just blinked and missed that day?
As I explore myself and what it means to be me I need to figure these things out. I know at one point I had alot of empathy for people, but through "evolution" I became this very guarded, quiet, complacent person who only helps who she knows and only friends people when she is "matched" to them. Between the crabs in a barrell (negative) people, and the cut throat; look out for yourself; I got mine,you get yours people I don't know which way to turn. If you expose yourself too much, you leave the door open for these people to come into your life and sabatoge your way. If you shut the door too much, you potentially lose out on alot  of great opportunities/people that will make your life better.
As I am still evolving, I hope to learn some of the virtues that I am passing along to my children, but I still wonder, when did I drop these things in the first place and what did I replace them with.
I wonder...........

Vegetarian here we Come!

And now for my second trick, Black Bean Chili!  This was by far, the best chili I've ever done, and easiest. When I was making it, I didn't even discover that I was putting everything in one dish, which is awesome for a busy mom that hates doing a million dishes. The kids were so excited to see something different. They dug into the potato, which I knew was a sure hit, and then started eating the chili mixture. I knew chili's were too much for them so I only used chili powder. The tofu was seamless and added the needed protein we needed. It was great. They were giving me compliments and chowing down. They are really getting used to this. My next experiment will be to find good lunch box ideas for them. Fast food just seems not nutritious. I like the idea of tofurky, but not for every day use and I am still convincing them that vegetables are there friends. But take my word for it, anybody would like this meal and I felt full without feeling sleepy which was exactly what I was going for. :)

Black Bean Chili - One Dish Wonder

One Pot Wonder

This is the second dish in our vegetarian trial run. This was great and it was a one dish wonder!

1 cup chopped onion
1 1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 chopped celery
3 cloves garlic freshly chopped
1 1/2 tbsp chinese black bean sauce
1 lb tofu crumbled
1 can tomatoes including juice
1 can black beans with liquid
1 can dark red kidney beans with liquid
1/4 chopped parsley

3 baked potatoes
chives for baked potatoes
cheese for baked potatoes

1. In large saucepan, combine onion, bell pepper and oil. Saute over medium heat  for 7 minutes. Add garlic, celery, and chiles. Cajun spice and tofu. Reduce heat and gently simmer, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes.
2. Add tomatoes with juice. Increase heat and bring to a boil, stirring up browned bits in bottom of pan. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Add  black and red beans with liquid, parsley and savory. Simmer for 5 to 10 minutes or until heated through Add salt and pepper to taste.
Optional

Used 3 baked potatoes, cause there are three of us. Cut the baked potatoes in half. add butter, salt and pepper and chives to the potatoes and topped with the chili and cheese. It was quite yummy and the kids enjoyed it!

Chili over baked potato with cheese

Sea Vegetables in Crock Pot

My first vegetarian recipe that went quite well with the kids.
3 garlic cloves
3 carrots chopped
1 onion chopped
1 celery stalk chopped
1 pototato chopped
2 cups vegetable stock
1 can coconut milk
1/2 cup lentils rinsed and drained
1/2 cup almond butter
1 tbsp chopped ginger
1 cup arame
2 cups yellow rice
salt and pepper

Add all ingredients in slow cooker (except rice). Cook on low for 4 to 6 hours until vegetables and lentils are tender. Serve over rice hot.

The kids enjoyed this and everything mixed well together. This was left overs for awhile in my household.

Vegetarian cooking 101

As of this week, I am officially bored, but as a precaution to my boredom, I decided to do some cooking and change our lifestyle to a more healthy one. I was once a vegetarian myself, before I even thought about kids. Since my children have alot of allergies, I decided to really streamline their diet and make sure they are getting enough vegetables. What better time to experiment than Vacation Time!. So I organized myself, got out a great vegetarian cook book and went through the recipes to find common ingredients so that we wouldn't waste food and I wouldn't have to buy too much. I looked through my cabinets, eliminated all the things I had all ready and organized a grocery list of items I needed to purchase. After going to Produce Junction and the super market, I had all my items enough for 8 different recipes (one even had a crock pot suggestion, you know I love the all in one cooking). So for the next 8 days, I will embark on a journey to vegetarian dinners for the kids and then for the rest of the time, hopefully we will then feast on the leftovers throughout the rest of the time. After I use the kids as guinea pigs, I'll post the recipes and all ingredients so that maybe someone else can benefit from this experience. I always like to encourage healthy living and giving up meat saves the planet and your gives you a healthy outlook on your life. I'm sure there are more health benefits than this but I just can't think of them right now. Besides, I could stand to lose a couple of pounds while I'm here and I have no excuse about excersing. I've also started an excercise plan. Every day I workout, I sweat, I do something to get my heartrate going. This is going pretty good so far and the healthy eating will benefit my weightloss experience as well.

Tonight is the first night and tonight we will try Sea Vegetable Chowder. This is the recipe with the slow cooker method, so I'm hoping it will be easy. Wish me luck you guys!

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered

My mind has been going in a million different directions lately. From where are my kids going to school in the summer, to where will we be living next year. It's been a whirl of a hurricane in my head and I am just not slowing down to smell the roses. I don't want to get overwhelmed, but I am getting there fast and furious.
Yesterday was an intense day for me. After work, dinner and kid battling my body and mind decided on their own without consent to just shut down and go into a coma state of surreal. I started to drift off and thinking about the calmness of smoke and how it drifts with the wind whirling and twirling all around into complete nothingness and thinking to myself, I wish that was offered as a vacation resort for adults. As I was drifting into this state, I started to think about babies. Not having another baby no, but to really think of how they have the best life and that it only goes downhill from there.

Babies have a 5 star resort every day all day until they get into the discovery mode. They are pampered , primped, every need is taken care of. Any sign of distress, is an automatic priority to all around and they are soothed into a blissful sleep. Even then they are admired from afar and never left alone. Why does it go straight to hell after that?
We grow and work in order to do what? Just die from working and not enjoying our lives. After the kids are gone and you are old and gray, what is the next phase of your life? It should not be working to survive. It should be working to not work and live out the rest of your days peacefull and tranquil. Right now, I am just not seeing the end of the tunnel fast enough. And what kind of example am I setting for my kids? Should they fall into this cycle where they grow, work til they can't work no more and then just collaspe of old age?
How should we live our life and what should our priorities be when it comes to evaluating our mortality and happiness?