Now I don't know who came up with the process and procedure, but as it appears, I sure as hell know that no parent of a special needs child signed off on this.
The process begins when you request that your child is tested. You need to do this in order for them to administer services. Sometimes finding the number to call is a chore and a half, but eventually, you can get this information from your pediatrician. Also, if you notice enough to want your child tested, its a better idea to seek out a Developmental Pediatrician and get on their waiting list so that you can get a diagnosis. This is key to the future of your child's services and what he or she is entitled to as they get older and attend school. Again, if you feel like they need to get tested for extra services or extra help, get on a waiting list for a Developmental Pediatrician. They are your best bet to get what you need in the future.
Next up, the evaluation takes place and then they give you an evaluation report. Now I know what I'm about to say might sound dumb, but I'm going to say it anyway.. READ IT! Read it cover to cover. Read it line by line. Note all mistakes, even spelling mistakes. Skim through it like the adverse affects of medications. This is what they will base services off of. If your child did something during the evaluation or you would like to add to it, you should mark that eval up, and ask that they add your information right away. Don't hold back information and don't try to add it in later. WRITE IT DOWN! Email it or send it in a letter asking for those things to be added. Printed words are more powerful than conversations. If you are bad at writing letters, GET BETTER. This skill is crucial from now to the end of time in dealing with IEPs.
After the evaluation report has been given to you an IEP meeting is scheduled. Now parents, I know that sometimes we have our own personalities and we have alot to deal with, but at this meeting you need to turn into a "public speaker". I have been in IEP meetings that consisted of 19 different people and I was the only one there to advocate for my son. If you are shy, get yourself in gear. If you speak soft, get ready to be bullied. If you are not prepared and have not read any of your reports, you will have your time wasted and will not get your input in. The IEP is a collaborative process and you should think of yourself as being on the same level as the other specialists there. Don't let their fancy degrees intimidate you because you have knowledge that they do not posses, you know your child and they don't. What they say is based on one evaluation or even one hour of time with your child. That is nothing compared to the hours, days, weeks, years you spent with your own child. You had the common sense to recognize that your child needed help and you acted upon it. You are your child's specialist and you need to speak like one.
Now I always ask for the Draft IEP atleast 24 hours before the meeting, because I want to be on the same page, address the issues ( like mistakes or additions) right then and there and I don't like wasting time. I hate when people read to me and that takes up most or all of the meeting if you don't get the Draft IEP. If you want to get down to the nitty gritty, ask for the draft and read it like your life depends on it. One thing they never tell you is, once you sign it to say that you agree, you are pretty much stuck with it. Too late to haggle over it then. If you need an addition or want to change or add something, don't sign anything. Ask for the change and wait to sign that document only. You may sign the attendance sheet, but nothing else. Make sure that documents looks like GOLD before signing it. That is your sole purpose and that will show that you are in control of the situation.
Now if you need a bit of support, bring people with you that know your child and know the system. Bring teachers, advocates, reports from drs. Don't bring your friends just to sit next to you. Remember, you need to be competent to do this and appear competent as well. You are gearing up to convince people to take an interest in your child's education, and these same people will be administering services to your child. Get to know them and let them get to know you. When you need them, they will respond to you, because you show that you are active and engaging in your child's life. You will build a professional rappor and will have more control of the situation and more information as time goes on.
If you are in disagreement and the IU/school district will not change its mind, file a complaint. File it right away, document your issue in a letter and be as specific as possible. Don't wait, don't take their word for it, don't sign anything you are not comfortable with. If you feel like they are stalling, file a complaint and ask for an expedited hearing. Look up the rules, call the disability help line and WRITE IT DOWN. You are now dealing with the state and they come down with a vengence if the IU/school district didn't do their job. You will be handled professionally and you will have to put your emotions on the shelf. Get in Gear to do this, because then you really need to be public speaker extraordinary. Watch as many episodes of law and order as you can and notice that those lawyers do not get emotionally involved even when the crime is horrific. You need to be the same way, poised, in control, fact checking, appear intelligent and have all your information presented in a letter, written down for everyone to see and be cc'd on.
Put your foot down, but do it professionally. Speak your peace, but sustain from being over emotional. You need to convey that you are competent and that you want assistance professionally. These people need to leave the room know that they will respect you and you will not let them short change you due to incompetence.
I hoped that I have shed some light on these issues. I have been through this process enough to know how to conduct myself, and every time, I have gotten what I asked for.
Gear up like you are going to war, because the sad thing about it is, you are.
